NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MAY 06: Frank Ocean attends The 2019 Met Gala Celebrating Camp: Notes on Fashion at Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 06, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Image Source: Getty / Jamie McCarthy

If you awoke right this moment pondering you would not be studying an article about a $25,000 c*ck ring, you have been mistaken. Though this outlandish intercourse toy could look like one thing you’d discover endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow on Goop, it truly comes completely from singer and songwriter Frank Ocean’s luxurious model, Homer.

Homer options merchandise like pennants, earring studs, rings, and belt buckles — and sure, c*ck rings. More particularly, one which’s 18-karat gold, made with 60 princess-cut diamonds, and retails for a little over $25,000.

The model thrust the product into the highlight in an Instagram post yesterday. The picture contains a picture of a very chiseled bare particular person carrying what seems to be a gold c*ck ring. (Don’t fear, although, the blur device is working extra time, so you do not see something too specific.) And within the caption, the model signifies that the picture is “Frank ‘PACO’ Ocean,” although it is unclear if it is Ocean’s package deal we’re or if Ocean is the one who took the picture. We love a curiosity hole.

As somebody who’s been working within the sex-toy house for a while now, I’ve a few crucial questions: Why does a c*ck ring should be bedazzled with diamonds? Why does a c*ck ring should be bedazzled with something? And why does a c*ck ring must price the identical quantity as my pupil loans? The solutions are unclear.

But for individuals who are unfamiliar with the world of c*ck rings, let me clarify the absurdity of this.

First off, these toys are designed to be positioned across the base of a penis — much less for aesthetic causes and extra for pleasure functions. A c*ck ring restricts blood circulate, making it in order that the particular person carrying it has a tougher time orgasming.

Some individuals put on them as a result of they do not need to orgasm too shortly or they take pleasure in edging themselves. Other individuals put on them as a result of they like the marginally painful sensation of being restricted. In any case, you do not want diamonds across the c*ck ring to ensure that the expertise to really feel regal AF.

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Let’s additionally think about the logistics right here, as a result of it sounds messy. What if semen by some means lands on this c*ck ring? I’d suppose cum remnants would severely devalue its value and possibly even wreck its shine. Wouldn’t that be defeating the aim of investing in a $25,000 c*ck ring? I feel sure.

And think about being on the receiving finish of this factor. I like some clitoral action however ideally with fingers or a vibrating toy — not, uh, diamonds. Clearly, this simply looks as if a advertising ploy for Ocean to point out off his BDE.

Ultimately, I perceive the aesthetics of intercourse toys are completely a part of the enjoyable. And hell, if you wish to embellish your family with bougie-ass intercourse toys, be my visitor. Even in the event you do truly need to put on it — maybe extra as jewellery and fewer as a device for higher intercourse — nothing says “my d*ck is worthy” like flexing a $25,000 c*ck ring in your penis. (Homer even sells a matching ring for your finger.)

But relating to truly utilizing and orgasming from this expensive intercourse toy, there is no must throw down that sort of money for a c*ck ring that produces the identical sensation as this one at the moment being sold on Amazon for $9. Trust me, your $25,000 is healthier spent elsewhere.

If you need my unsolicited recommendation, there are two issues that I do know will give you extra satisfaction than any $25,000 c*ck ring can: remedy and (in case your companion has a vagina) studying “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner. You’re welcome upfront.

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