Stephen Colbert went reside with The Late Show Tuesday to report on the election, take just a few swipes at Gov. Ron DeSantis and to point out off some prognosticating chickens from the Midterms Projection Coop.
Kicking off at 11:35 p.m. ET (although New Yorkers didn’t be part of till a number of minutes later as a result of Governor Kathy Hochul’s acceptance speech), Colbert touched on all the key races, together with Georgia’s high-profile Senate race. “It is so tight. This race might be determined by a margin of error of plus or minus Herschel Walker’s secret youngsters.”
He then gave a tip of the hat to victor Chuck Schumer. “In a shocker, the Senate race has been referred to as for majority chief Chuck Schumer. And out of respect for his opponent’s political demise, Schumer will probably be sporting his glasses at half-mast.”
Here’s a sampling of Colbert’s different yucks from his opening monologue:
“Democrat Charlie Christ has been defeated by MAGA wannabe and 2024 hopeful Ron DeSantis. And now in accordance with Florida regulation, Charlie Christ will probably be pressured on a airplane and flown to Martha’s Vineyard.”
“It seems to be like Republican Marco Rubio has defeated Democratic rising star Val Demings. Demings was on the quick listing to be Joe Biden’s working mate whereas Rubio is on the quick listing for being quick.”
“The Vermont Senate race has wrapped up and Democrat Peter Welch is the winner at 75. Welch is the oldest individual ever elected to a primary time period as U.S. Senator. However, at 75, he will even be one of many youngest members of the Senate.”
“Over in Indiana, incumbent GOP Senator Todd Young has gained reelection with out the forty fifth president’s endorsement, making him one of the profitable Republicans who’ve zero help from the previous president. The least profitable? Eric.”
“If the Democrats lose the home, Nancy Pelosi will probably be changed by Kevin McCarthy, a man who’s on tape after January sixth, asking for the ex-president to be faraway from workplace. But as an alternative, three weeks later, he eliminated his personal balls and hand delivered them to Mar-a-Lago.”
“If McCarthy is elected speaker, one of many first issues on his celebration’s agenda is revenge over the January sixth committee. they plan to subpoena members of the choose committee, significantly Liz Cheney. Hey, GOP, I do know you’re feeling assured, however are you positive you wanna mess with the Cheneys? If you mess with the Liz, you could awaken the Dick. Remember the shotgun to the face? That’s how he treats his buddies. Long has he slumbered, oh, how he hungers. You gained’t hear him coming as a result of he doesn’t have a heartbeat.”
And then got here the chickens.
Colbert’s visitor for the evening was CBS News anchor John Dickerson.